Happy St. Paddy's Day !!

[blkgunlvr]

My heritage is very similar, Scots-Irish fleeing the famine and a bit of German thrown in too.

[Mud Pie]

My way into the New World has two versions, one very typical and one kinda action movie-ish. My Dad's Mom and Dad left Ireland and came here looking for a better way of life, yada-yada, yawn, snore, typical story. My Mom's Mom and Dad started dating in Ireland as teens. My grandfather was a gun runner for the IRA, my grandmother was a safe house that hid the guns. My grandfather would pick up the guns from her and deliver them to where ever. They began to date. My grandfather got caught by the Brits and was tortured into giving up where the safe house was. He refused to give up his girlfriend, fearing what the Brits would do to a female "traitor". They used a tablespoon and popped out his eye and let it dangle trying to make him talk. He still refused. Amazingly, they didn't kill him, just ditched him on the side of a road. He had his eye popped back in, but it was jacked up and blind. He married my grandmother and they fled to the U.S.. His eye was never "right". One eye would be looking at you, the other opaque eye looking down the hall. It would move, but never in tune with his good eye. Really freaked me out as a kid.

My mother did NOT want my grandfather telling us that story, she said it made us "shanty Irish thugs" and it embarrassed her. My sister told my grandmother, "Aww, Nana, Poppy truly loves you !!". My grandmother waved her hand and said, "Nah, your grandfather is a drunken Mick dumbass." and left the room. That's Irish love right there...

[4570govt]

Mud Pie, my people came here to leave British oppression too, later they shot them during the Revolution!

The obsession people here have for those English Royals, is beyond me, what a bunch of fruitcakes!

[VanHahner]

Paudie goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness. The barman lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness. When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone. The barman says: "Wow! You sure drank those fast."
Paudie explains: "You would drink fast too if you had what I have." The barman asks: "What do you have?" The guy reaches into his pocket and says: "Fifty cents!"

[Mud Pie]

Mud Pie, my people came here to leave British oppression too, later they shot them during the Revolution!

The obsession people here have for those English Royals, is beyond me, what a bunch of fruitcakes!

Yep. Wanna see an old Irishman lose his freaking mind ? When they televised Prince Charles and Lady Diana getting married. My grandfather was screaming bloody hell at the TV. He had come back from Ireland to visit and I was home on leave to see him, and when he started up, I left the house...

[wrwindsor]

Couple of days late on this one, I was traveling, so "forgive me father..."

An Irishman went to confession. "Father", he confessed, "it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month."

The priest told the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys."

Soon, another Irishman entered the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've been having sex with Nookie Green twice a week, for the last two months."

This time, the priest questioned, "Who is this Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replied.

"Very well", sighed the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Marys."

At Mass the next morning, as the priest was preparing to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redhead entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church were on her, as she slowly sashayed up the aisle--and sat down, right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she was wearing matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped, as she sat with her legs spread slightly apart...just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, "Is that Nookie Green?"

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears, but managed to calmly reply, "No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes."

[M1AScoutSquad]

Couple of days late on this one, I was traveling, so "forgive me father..."

Hahahahahahaha!!!!